Joseph's Story

As I was writing the previous post , I realized I had never written about the miracle that literally is my son, Joseph. Well, let me begin by saying that I am what my mom calls 'Fertile Myrtle'! I have been pregnant 7 times, having the 3 live children I have today. Sadly, the other 4 ended in miscarriage. It was only during the very early part of my pregnancy with Joseph that we learned the possible reason for my multiple miscarriages: an under active thyroid gland. Anyway, quickly, the pregnancies happened in this order: September, 1993 we had a natural miscarriage at about 10 weeks gestation. July, 1994, we had Briana and yes that means I got pregnant in October after having that miscarriage in September. In July of 1995, we had a baby pass away in utero and had to have a D & C to remove him ( I felt it was a boy, so I say 'him'). In July of 1996 we had Olivia and, yes, once again I got pregnant quickly after having suffered a miscarriage. Then in February of 1997 and again in December of 1997, we suffered miscarriages resulting in 2 more d & c procedures. As I was being wheeled out to the car after the latter, a nurse mentioned something that resonated and haunted me for the next year: "Maybe you are not able to carry boys to term. Just a thought." I was beside myself for the next few months and then I learned I was pregnant in April of 1998. In May, I was to have my first ultrasound at roughly 11 weeks. When we looked at the screen, there was nothing there. The tech said that it appeared as if there WAS something there and there was a "yolk sac" but they feared I had miscarried and scheduled another d & c for 3 days later. Again, I was haunted...maybe I really wasn't supposed to have a son. Well, during those 3 days, the thyroid problem was discovered and I was medicated for that, I had pretty much given up on having any boys, maybe even having any more kids...period...and this overwhelming sadness hit me. The 3 days came way too fast and I showed up at the surgery center as I was supposed to. I was being prepped for surgery and by prepped I mean I was gowned, had the IV going, shaved (ewwww), in the operating room, scooted over onto the operating table, and the anesthesiologist introduced himself to me and explained how I was going to fall asleep. That's how prepped I was when my doctor came in with an ultrasound machine. He hadn't ever done that before, but I figured "whatever, he probably just needs to take another quick look to see where to cut, etc..." About 30 seconds into it, he turned the screen to me and I immediately saw it and sat straight up, which hurt like the dickens because it was one of those internal ultrasounds, knowwhutImean?? I laid back down, took a deep breath, but was crying so hard I could barely speak. Joseph's tiny little heartbeat was HUGE that morning! I hadn't miscarried after all. Every time I think of how close we came to losing him from the procedure, my heart sinks and I close my eyes and thank God for stepping in. The months that followed were joyful, yet bittersweet. I was medicated for the thyroid condition, which, of course, I will be for the rest of my life, but those words were still with me. Something could still happen if it's a boy and I'm not meant to have a son. We found out he was a boy in October, when I was close to 6 months pregnant, so I worried a lot during that last trimester. But on December 18th, all fears were put to rest, God was in that room that day and I felt Him there. Joseph was as fat, healthy, and beautiful as they come...a whopping 9 lbs. 11 oz. with the hugest cheeks!! God literally gave this little boy to me and I sure hope I don't fail Him!